Two Years Earthbound

Two years separated from the stars.

Seven hundred days with my tennis shoes on earth’s asphalt—grounded and steady.

It’s sobering to look back and realize I’ve saved over a month of my life—like cashing in a coupon. Redeemed time. The smiles of my children. A meal eaten mindfully. The laughter of real, solid, tangible human beings. Matchas and turning pages and breathing in city air…all without the bitter film of daydreaming on top.

It’s been 2 years and 21 days of exercising contentment—and breathing through discontentment. Of wondering if this ramshackle little planet is all there is, for now. Yearning for adventure and then vacuuming carpets. Dreaming of space travel, of being more than I am, and then laying down my minutes and hours for the people right in front of me. Remembering the feverish chase of earlier decades and settling, again and again, into the soul-level peace of trusting the Lord Jesus’s sovereign authorship.

In two more months, I will surpass my personal record for time sober from maladaptive daydreaming. I am both excited for that day and reflective that it’s taken me 30 years to get to this point of health. Truly, He never gives up on us, and His faithfulness endures despite our wavering commitment.

So here’s to healthy escapism: to losing ourselves in a two-hour movie, a cozy game, a song that makes our spirits soar.

Here’s to embellishing the commonplace with heavenly beauty.

Here’s to learning to balance mature realism and childlike wonder.

Here’s to submitting to the lordship of the man who knew how to dance at weddings and how to wash feet.

Here’s to seeing through a glass darkly, but clinging to His hand and committing to peering through that glass for all it’s worth, abandoning any frames of fancy that promise more clarity or purpose.

In this life, I have my feet on the ground. And I look forward to a kingdom to come when all things will be made new; when the stars will be redeemed and I’ll be able to hold the hand of my Savior as we explore them.